What are you doing now?

working for placebo? of course she was paid for this she was employed as a freelance by riverman management if i remember well
and basically i guess she was "promoting the band" working on website, being at gigs to take a few pics, organise street teams...

yet i dunno if i have a good reason to do this... i'm just really confused
i remember one day you telling me that i'd probably meet placebo thanks to my work and i dunno i would love it if it was true...
and i know i love discussing with Vanessa to find ideas of things we would love the management to plan for the fans...
but right now i'm really confused about what i want to do. I know that at least this stuff would combine my love for music and travels but i dunno if it's the guilt i still have from the moment when that old "so called friend" told me i was going too far by sending an open application to alex to work for them on the website or if it is because it is indeed a fucked up plan

Well the thing is you do love Placebo, music and you could go to gigs.
And I don't think you would be going to far by sending an application.
It's the same thing as if you sent an application for any job, as long as you keep in mind it would be a job. So for me you're really not exaggerating

Also, what you should maybe think about is the longevity of the job. How long could you do this?

honestly i don't know i mean i'm not even sure i could do this so...
and i know that at one point i'd love to have a kid but that seems so far away right now...

Just finished surface washing my teddy bear
Yes i'm 24 and I still have a teddy well more than one since I have more than 300 plushies count them as collection
But yeah my teddy needed a bath, it was quite dirty from dust (didn't wash him since i got it which was in London probably in 2007... a bath every 4 years can't hurt now can it? XD)

translating things for Miramagia's french forum, getting the FAQ from english to french.
I get no money from that but at least i'm less bored lol

studying and freezing. It's really really cold right now. well it's not that cold but since I've caught a cold I am cold.

translating a text from English to French for my translation class on Tuesday. (go me for working so early in the morning on a Saturday)

Cursing
Broke an egg, burnt my finger, can't find any ID picture for tomorrow, my evening sucks so much

*huggles*

taking a break from german and trying not to fall asleep *yawns*

Thinking about something Steve (Forrest) said... he said that once, after a prank, Brian told him it was a lesson to learn. And that the lesson is "Don't trust anybody"... It's sad but at the same time it's very true, just like "The only thing we can rely on is that we can't rely on anything" from plasticine. It's a sad view of society but it is sadly true. And even if i trust a few people (mainly friends and family) i'm as defensive as he is, and my motto is also never trust anybody. Cause when I did, it usually got me hurt... Except from a few times when I wasn't wrong to trust somebody, just like after our fights a few years back Danina, I still believed in our friendship and I trusted you. And in the end, that time was one of the few times where i wasn't wrong. yet at the same time, I got wrong so many times, just like when I trusted the guy that was in my class thinking he was a friend and then just to realise that he's been calling me a monster as a joke with many other people (some even not in my class) of the whole school...
So yes, right now, unless they can fucking strongly prove to me that they deserve my trust, i won't trust anybody.

Appart from that, i'm basically freezing, even if I turned up the heat in my room (yet don't want to turn it to the max, i think that me being tired (both real tired and mentally tired got me cold, cause when i'm tired i'm usually cold). So yeah, thinking and shaking from the cold, even under my blanket. And thinking about sleeping, even if I feel that I won't be able to sleep much tonight....

Hey

You know I'm really glad we did stick by each other then but I do think that you can trust people, but not confess every single thing that you have inside your heart. In my opinion a friendship can only be called a true friendship when trust has been completely gained on both parts, but to have a friend, a simple friend you don't have to tell everything. Of course a bit of trust has to be given, and maybe in time the person in question will prove she/he deserves more but until then you can just be nice and get along with her/him.
I don't know if I make any sense, and I do uderstand why you can't trust people so easily, but i'm pretty sure you could make friends around you easily, even though they wouldn't be "true" friends.

and I'm thinking about drinking coffee ^^ which I shall do in a second since coffee's ready

I can make friends don't worry for me ^^ I'm friends with almost everyone in my training. Some know more about me that others cause I felt I could somehow trust them. I think i'm ready to try again to trust people... And that mostly because I know that if I always try to keep everything in, some people might not want to learn to know me and i think it's one of the thing that makes me hard to find a boyfriend or such... And I want to try, not to be so defensive from the start cause I feel the need to let myself live a bit more and I don't want people that might like me just don't go to me because they feel i'm not ready for it. Of course that won't change in one day, but it's what I want to do... I guess it's also because I'm worried that again the only that might be interested in me wouldn't be the one i'd be interested in myself... Then comes the problem of how to meet people...

I'm glad to see you think this way and I hope it will work out for you
Well if you'll have a job somewhere you can meet new people, and it will give you some small funds so you can maybe go out with the people you met. ^^

I'm so worried that i might never find someone i like that would like me back...
cause so far Gwen is like the only one that showed me he liked me and he's not really my style... though i feel like all the guys that seem "appealing" to me are of the kind that just wouldn't like me even if i was the last girl on earth

I wouldn't be so negative if I were you.
Gwen might not be your type but he's a nice guy, and it's good to know that a nice guy likes you, nope?

Plus if you are going to allow people to get near you a little more one of the guys that you might find appealing could get to know you and completely fall for you