Don't give up on the dream, Brian/OC (Ammie) rp - Hinahon and Ashtraygirl

Once I'm home on go for and shower then wash and dry my hair. I leave it doen as I think there is a real reason for me to tie it back.

Then I get dressed, I want to look good but not too formal so put on a shirt with my waist coat and some black skinny jeans, I put eye liner and mascara, I don't want to over do, so put just enough on, once I'm ready I check the time, I've got long enough just to walk there and still be only a little early, so with nothing else to do, I leave.

Once outside, I have a quick ciggaret to calm my nerves, I'm unbelievly tense, and alittle scared, once I'm finsih I feel some what calmer.
And thats right when you arrive...

My heart pounds hard against my chest, I've felt like this before and it's strange, I can't even say anything, I just grin foolishly and wave over to you and you greet me making me smile even more, my nerves won't stop but I take a deep breath and smile sweetly.

"...Shall we go in?"

I nod as you say that and get inside as you're holding the door open for me.
It's kinda funny, because it's a japanese restaurant and my style is kinda japanese inspired...
We're lead to a table and as the waiter brings us the menus, I just smile at you.
"I hope i didn't freak you out dressed like this... I just can't go to work dressed like this as for now since i'm new around there... but since this is not for work, I thought it would be better if you really saw who i was when i'm not at work." I say and smile again.
I mean i look totally different that at work. My make up is more extravagant, my clothes... well, they're not normal clothes but kinda dress up clothes so... It's not that i'm totally a different person from the one you knew at work, but i'm not 100% the same either.

Once we're both inside, we make ourselves to our table, once we're both seated, we're given menus, I take a look, desiding what I may have, I look at you from the corner of my eye, you seem some what uncomfortable.

"Is...something wrong?" I ask, and you sigh and ask me if you 'scared' me becasue you're dressed like this.
I smile sweetly, "No, of corse not, you look amazing, I was suprised but in a good way, why would you of scared me?"
you smile gently back, "I don't think you should hide yourself and what you are, don't ever be ashamed."

The waiter then comes over to take orders, once he writes them down he walks away then a slight awkward silence comes, I lace my hands together under the table and breathe in deeply to calm myself as my nerves are coming back.
you glance and me and smile, I do the same back and clear my throat.

"How do you feel about children?"

"I'm not really trying to hide myself... It's just that it might be a little too extravagant to go to work in those type of clothes so..." I smile at you and we both tell the waiter what we wants before he leaves again.
"I'm not ashamed anyway, it's just that some people really don't like those sort of personalities... they think they're attention seekers... but i'm just like this because this is how i feel good... I like being like this..."
Then there's a bit of a silence, but I guess that's normal... I mean you probably guessed i almost know everything about you and you know almost nothing about me... and it really looks like you would love to ask me some questions but that you're not really daring to.
After a while, you ask me how i feel about kids.
"Why? you need a baby sitter?" i ask with a slight grin before quickly adding "i'm kiding of course"
"I've always wanted to have some... At least one... maybe more... but as for now i didn't find the right person to be with so work took place n°1..."

"I see," I say as take a sip of my drink, the awkward silence comes yet again and it makes me all the more nervous, I take another deep breath, remined myslef that I just need to relax and keep calm.

I glance swiftly at you and sigh, more out of annoynence of myself. I feel kinda stupid, I mean the first thing I asked was about kids, but now we're on that topic, what's the point of changing it? I think to myself.

I sigh again, turning and smiling at her, "So...Imean at your age, Imean you're still young, do you think you'd be ready to have children, now?" I ask very nervously, I swallow thickly, a part me wounding why I'm asking you this.
You look at me with amusement as well as maybe, slight confusion before grinning sweetly.

You ask me that question and at first to be honest, I stay stunned.
"Well... I guess... If I found the right person to have them with..." I say and shrug
"But I've not been working for long, I don't think Alex would be too happy to leave now because i would like to have a baby" I say laughing a bit.
"But why are you asking me this?" I mean it's not that i find it rude or anything, it's just that it's weird...
You didn't ask anything about myself even though the only thing you know about me are my name and age... but instead you ask me about kids... which is in the end, something quite personal...

I shyly smile, taking another sip of my drink, it goes quite but only for a short while as the waiter brings our food over.

I take a few mouthful of my food, still feeling shaken up, I take a drink, remembering that you did ask my why I was asking such questions about children...

Swallowing, I speak up, just so you can hear me becasue I'm jittery about this, I sigh nervously, and I clear my throat.
"What I'm about to say, I-I don't really understand myself..." I anxiously, stop not sure if I should carry on, you timidly smile and take a drink, I do the same as my mouth is starting to feel dry from feeling so shaky.

"As, I said. I don't really understand...but...I know..I like...you..."

I'm actually quite stunned when you say you like me...
In a way I don't know how to understand it... does it means you want to sleep with me or is it more than that?
Fact is, if you can't even understand it yourself, I don't see how I could understand it better.
I stay quiet for a little while and eat a bit. After all, why would you like me?
I take a sip from my drink and then look at you.
"What do you mean by you like me?..." I then ask

I'm still rather shakey, I take yet another sip of my drink, taking small, deep breaths.
"To, make it clear the best way I can...I'm not want just to get into your pants." I whisper, causing myslef to laugh slightly.
You smile, perhaps out of slight amusement, I'm not sure.
"...but," I begin, "The reason why I said I don't understand it is becasue...well...you're, much more younger than me, and...I've also got a kid, making me a single dad..."
I take another sip of drink, but taking something to eat aswell, before I carry on talking.
"And...Aswell, normaly, I shouldn't be...with fans...let alone people who work for me..."

I just smile as you say you're not trying to get into my pants... At least that makes me be a bit reasured...
Then you start telling me about what's bothering you in all this... I let you finish then I just say looking at you.
"There an age difference of what? 15 years? My grandparent had a bigger age difference and they were actually together till the day they died... And the fact that you're a dad? Why wouldn't it cause any problem? I mean, it's normal that you want to see your kid as much as possible... Also, the person that would be with you still wouldn't become his mom, so in the end... as long as your kid ends up liking the person, I don't think anything could go wrong..." I take a bite of my food and then go on.
"And to be honest, i'm not really working for you... I'm working for the management, to make sure that your band has the perfect image that would bring more people to it and bring more income to everyone... So in the end, technically, i'm working for Alex, not for you" I say and smile at you.

"Hm, well technically yeah...you do work for alex, but you work, like along side me..."
I take another sip, now I'm starting to feel more calmer, but I'm still a little on edge...
"And...with all this, I'll kinda make you a mum and you're only 21.." I say qiuetly...
I finish my drink off as there isn't really much left, It goes quite again, but I guess that just normal, I smile gently even though inside still I'm pretty tense.

"..Well," I say, and take another mouthful, "...Would you like it? and..you know...we could always sort out what we would do..."

"Yeah but i'm not supposed to be much around you in the end... i mean, I don't think i'm gonna be part of the staff that will go with you on tour, or only if Alex wants me to update the site live" I say and then finish my food.
"And about being kinda a mum, I really wouldn't mind... You have a really cute son" I say with a smile.
I finish my drink and then you ask me what I want to do...
"Well..." I blush a bit "I like you too... So I would never say no if you proposed anything..." I say and smile a bit.
"Then we would just have to see how we could manage it... but I think we're both adults and that because of that, we'll be able to handle things correctly and not fuck up everything..."

"Well...we need to talk through what were gonna do," I saw figding around abit, still a bit tense, I smile to reassure myself, to stop the feeling in my smoatch making me feel queasy.

I fiddle around a bit, "Maybe, we could start off seeing each other..." I glup thickly, smiling, the queasy feeling seem to have vanished, now I'm starting to question myself why I neverous the whole night anyway, I think to myself.

"It's a bit too soon to move in together...but i'll help you out anyway," I smile shyly, "...and for work, I don't mind if we hide it," I laugh just a little softly, "Though, both Steve and Stef are quite like to start questioning me like crazy..." I grin, "Alex...I'm not sure. She may wonder too..." I smile, not wanted the annoying nerves to come back...

I then quickly glance at my watch, 'Woah...it's alot later than I though it was...' I think to myself...

"It sounds good to me... I want to have my own place around here anyway... I started searching for one, at least for a flat..."
The waiter comes back to ask us what we want as dessert and then leaves again after we order.
You're talking about work and to be honest I don't really know...
"Well we could always hide it till the day someone will say something about it or anything... I mean as long as no one asks us, we can still hide it..."
We're brought the dessert and of course we both start eating..
I think we both realised how late it was... Thank god we don't have to work tomorrow. I only have to go see a few flats...

Once we've finished our desert, the waiter comes over handing me the check, I hand him the money, the expression on his face doesn't change and he collets our plates as we start to leave.

I might aswell walk you back, I'm on no real rush and it's not like I have to go back for a reason.
We're back alot quicker than I though, grinning you turn to leave, but I stop you and softly kiss you on the cheek, you start to blush and smile sweetly, I wave goodbye to you as you go in.

I then begin to walk home, I light up a ciggeret, finishing it just as I come home. It's quite late once I get back, I deside just to go straight to bed as I'm rather tired, it's lucky I don't have to go in tomorrow...