Opposite's attract

Rp invloving:
Brian Molko - Hinahon
James Warren - morningstar

Of course this is not real, this is fiction and all that bla bla. No one should be offended by the content of this fictional role play.

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Note to self
Try to find a way to escape this damn curse that is making life just a little bit harder

I guess I really needed to write this down. With a satisfied look on my face I placed the sticker on my new mirror, this way every single morning (and tons of other times during the day) I will see this small note and always keep in mind that there is something wrong, and that maybe there is a way to get out of it. Why on earth did I have to be so skeptic about it?

I manage to make all those memories go away from my head. Today is a new day, and it's a new day in a new apartment, and of course it is time for me to look for a new job. I don't even know where to start.
I don't know what my journalism diploma would be useful for, after all I don't want to end up working for a scandal tabloid having to follow people all day long with my camera hoping that they would do something wrong, though I have to admit that it wouldn't be too hard.
Come on Jamie, get your chin up and go out there to face the world...

I take my jacket, since you never know when it's going to be chilly in London and my bag with all my resumes. I guess i'll just go spreading those around.
To my surprise it's actually pretty outside and quite warm for an April morning.
I grab a coffee to go at the café right around the corner from where I live.
What a beautiful day it is indeed, the trees are green again and hey there aren't even much cars at this time to make horrible sounds. Are those birds humming?
"OOOOOOOOOOOOUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT" I yell while the coffee that was just spilled on my t-shirt is kind of burning me. I have the feeling that I look like a crab or something of that kind, turning red.
"Couldn't you look where you were going, you... you.... you...." I'm not even looking at the person in front of me, I just want to pour the rest of my coffee on his or her head, and tell them that they just ruined my perfect morning.
"James?"
"huh?"
"James, it is you..." the tall dude in front of me has this weird smile on his face as if small birds were flying round his head making him look ridiculous
"Who the hell are you, Mr I spill coffee on innocent people?" I straighten my jacket and finally give him a proper look. He does actually look familiar, but I really can't put a name on that face.
"You don't remember me..." his expression grows a little bit sadder "I'm Stefan, we knew each other when we were kids, we used to play together when we were like 5 or something"

I guess I did use to play with a Stefan Oldwall or something like that when I was a child, but from what I remember he used to be a sissy always crying when getting a little friendly punch from the other boys or girls. Yeah that's it.... he has the same eyes and the same puppy expression on his face when he's happy! I always thought he'd turn up to be gay in his teenage years, wonder if he did...
"Yeah I remember you, how are you, what on earth are you doing here?"
"I live here now, with some mates and we've started a band a while ago and it's actually going pretty well. Maybe you've heard of us, Placebo...?"
"Nah, doesn't say anything to me... but hey, you'll be famous one day who knows." I shrug. I really don't have time for this right now... time's flying and so is my motivation to go and give out resumes.
"Maybe we should catch up sometimes, I'd love to hear your story James"
"Ok, as long as you don't call me James, it makes me feel like a dinosaur, call me Jamie"

9 am, just another day in the anomally normal life of an uncommun rockstar... ok not rockstar yet, but that shouldn't be long now.
I stretch and get out of bed, heading to the bathroom to have a shower.
Who am I do you ask? Brian Molko, lead singer of the future best rock band in the world: Placebo.
I know I should be meeting up with my band mates later today but right now, I just can't be arsed to do much...
I just feel like being totally lazy...

As long as there is no girls involved, it's fine by me...
You think I'm gay? well... not totally... I'm what you called bisexual, even though I like to call myself just open minded...
I just have a problem with girls... I wish I just never met that one... A girl I knew, that believed in all sort of things going from ghosts to witchcraft... I felt like being in those Merlin and magicians stories... and she couldn't stand that i didn't believe a thing about what she told me...
I wish I did now...

Ok she was a goth girl... that's why i didn't believe those things to be honest... I mean sure goths like witches and stuff, but as far as I knew of, it didn't exist... Though I was wrong.
Judge my luck... In this whole fucking world, I just have to find myself with a true witch, it's like it runs in the family. If i had known I would have left way before... Because let me tell you that you should never get a witch angry...
Even less cheat on her... and surely not with a man... or then be extra careful... which i obviously wasn't...
Result of this? she just couldn't accept the fact that I cheated on her... so to get revenge she just decided to curse me so I would never make another girl unhappy again...

I'm not going to tell you what the curse was... it's a bit embarrassing and let say it's not the thing I like to talk much about...
It just puts me in... what you could call a very uncomfortable position when girls are around...
But let's not think about it right now... I just step out of the shower and get dressed before going back to the living room.
I just sit on the sofa and turn on the tv deciding to stay here until Stef will call me.

I finally manage to get rid of Stefan after making the promise that I will meet up with him for coffee tomorrow and attending a party with his band on Friday night. I really hope I won't get bored.
I can't help but wonder what his band does actually sound like, so instead of looking for a job I end up looking for magazines just in case I see the band's name in there.
"May I help you?" the girl from the library store finally asks after I must have spent half an hour looking through various magazines: from rap to rock to pop hoping to see the word Placebo in there
"Erm.... I'm actually looking for a band called Placebo, i've heard the name on the street and I was wondering what kind of music they were playing" I feel a little bit out of place when she just bursts into laughter
"Placebo? Seriously? I mean... God... i've been to one of their gigs, they're good... but I don't think they're that famous to be in this magazine" she takes the last number of Kerrang out of my hand and gives me the NME. "You're not much of a music fan I take, but... they must have something on them here, they might actually be the next big thing in a month or so... look at the new bands section."
"Thanks" I pay for the magazine and decide to browse it into a more quiet place. After spending a little bit of time reading the magazine, I finally get to a small picture next to the title:
Placebo: more than just a Nancy Boy?
What on earth is a nancy boy? I take a careful look at the picture, the midget in it looks quite cute, I wonder what does he do In the band. Maybe he’s just there to shock with his girly look and red lipstick.
Maybe Stefan will introduce me to him one day, I actually wonder how small he is. I guess that to get to him I must pass through Stefan’s boring stories.

After quite a while I finally get a call from Stefan. He starts talking to me about meeting up someone (I really didn't get who), that he needs to introduce him to me and gets so excited that as always i'm facing a shower of annoying swedish words...
"Stefan ! Fucking hell, stop it ! I already told you that I can't speak swedish ! It's always the same, when you get excited you are slipping swedish words in the conversation and I can't get a word of what you're saying !"
After he finally comes back to good old English, I get to understand that it's an old friend of him (though I have the impression it's not really that much of a friend...).
But that doesn't give me a clue of what we're doing today... He finally tells me to meet him and Steve somewhere in town so we can have a coffee and see what we're going to do.

So after getting ready (make up, arranging my hair... all that is taking time ya know...) I just head to the subway to get to the damn place.
After ordering the coffees, we just start talking about the big stuff...
It seems that someone from a magazine saw us... Even though it's not totally 100% positive we were asked to play with other new bands to see what we're worth...
Even though i know it can do us good since it's a big mag, I don't like the nasty comments about me being a nancy boy and stuff...
Not that it's untrue... but it's really not said in a nice way...
And I won't really let a journalist hurt my little rockstar sensibility.

Since my morning coffee was spilled all over me, I just decide to go and have another one, while sitting down in a nice place and thinking about my job options. I thought that starting over in another place would be a little easier, but it's not. What is even worse is that I don't know much about this city, so maybe I could use some help from someone who's been here for a while already and knows a few things.
I am a little bit lost in my head trying to make a list of all my former friends who could possibly be around here, thinking that I should probably be calling them.

"Oh my God, now that is one hell of a coincidence" a relatively annoying voice for my ears is half yelling those words.
Oh god no, not him... anything but not him.... Forget about being helped getting around London, if it's from him... it means I will spend a lot of boring boring hours talking about the good old days... heck he wasn't even on my list
"Hi again... back to spill some coffee on me?"
"Oh you're so so funny, I forgot how funny you were" Stefan giggles and I don't know whether it was just me but I think he's blinking his eyes and puckering his lips a little in a flirty way...
"And I forgot as well..." what an idiot you were "... how nice you actually are. Sit down I suppose"
"No, actually I'm here with my bandmates.... remember I told you that I was in a band this morning, and we're sitting right over there" he points to the other side of the terass and I think that I can distinguish the cute guy that was in the picture. He seems to be pretty pissed off. "I was wondering whether you wanted to join us..."
"I really don't want to disturb you guys, you must have really important band stuff to talk about, right?"
"No, no I insist... please come with us, my friends would just love to meet you..."
"Fine" I sigh and take my bag as Stefan takes my cup of coffee. I swear his face is shining right now....

"Guys... guys... look" Stefan points at me happily "this is the friend I was telling you about... "
Oh great, he already talked about me... he's worse than a girl really.
"So guys, this is James"
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME JAMES" I really can't help it but yell at him a little.... he's pissing me off so so so much... if the small dude wasn't so cute I wouldn't have accepted the invitation. Is he wearing lipstick?
"Oh yeah, sorry, this is Jamie... and these are my bandmates Brian and Steve..."

I must say I'm not in the best of moods ever... First, that whole I-met-an-old-school-friend thing from Stefan is really not my cup of tea and then talking about the big gig we'll have in like a week is not helping. I mean it's in a whole fucking week !! No need to talk about it so soon. We're a new band yes, but I think we're pro enough not to need a full week of rehersal.
Plus let me tell you i'm really not up to work right now...

I was sipping from my cup of coffee when Stefan just got up to get hell knows what hell knows where... I really dunno what's wrong with him but today I find him even more annoying than a teenage girl drooling on the guy she would never dare to ask out.
I shrug and decide not to notice it... Stefan is a bit weird sometimes and I just can't change him...
And that's when I hear him....

"GUYS !! guys look !!" Stef says all excited again... It doesn't take me long to guess what it is all about.
Without bothering with the whole convo I just get the words friend, James, no, Jamie... and I finally turn around to see him or then someone will again find a reason to call me a bitch or whatever name they can find.

Though what I see was kinda worth the time I spent bothering about it...
That guy seems pretty cute... even though he's deadly classic... too classic for my taste to be honest.
I just get up and put on my best look and go to meet him and Stef.
"Hello, I'm Brian" I say with a smile handing my hand for him to shake.
I can see him trying to analyse me... I can bet poor lil mister classic doesn't see many people like me around...

^I can’t actually hide my giggle when the tiny man gets up. I can actually understand right now what a “nancy boy” is, it’s the thingy standing right next to me and not even reaching my shoulder: red lipstick, a lot of black eyeliner and mascara (he has even longer eyelashes than every single woman that I have met), and is it just me, or his fingernails are red?

“Woaw… you look really nice” I smile as I shake his hand. He has such girly hands, it’s almost as if he used moisturizer or some kind of lotion to have them that soft.
“Oh come on sit down, you must tell me all about you” Stefan actually puts up a chair behind me and pushes me on it, and then pushes me closer to the table. I think I must look ridiculous because Brian laughs while looking at the scene.
“Here’s your coffee” he adds placing it in front of me
“Thank you I suppose” Man.. I kind of feel like I’m a woman right now.
“So you have to tell me everything about you? How have you been these past… what has it been already? 5 years? More?”
“I honestly don’t have that much to tell… I finished my studies back in Luxembourg and decided I would try my luck here since after all this is my birth country. I’m just looking for a job as a journalist” That’s when I hear fingernails scratching the table. Did I say something wrong? The small one looks pretty pissed off.
“Oh don’t mind him, he just doesn’t really like journalists… so tell me more, are you seeing someone? Come on, you can tell me… I missed you so so much!!!!” Stefan jumps on me to hug me, and I just pull away quickly making him fall over my empty chair.

“Sorry about that, I am not a hugging person” I apologize and sit back down as he straightens himself up.
“Why don’t you like journalists, Brian? It’s Brian, right? I always get names so mixed up” I won't actually tell him that I perfectly remembered his name because I do find him incredibly cute "I mean, if you want to be a musician, you must learn to get along with them... after all they are the ones who can ensure your publicity, no?"
It's kind of confusing, i've never met a person wanting to be famous who actually looks like a sour lemon when the word journalist comes up. Most people would be something like: oh journalist, where where where? Did he take my picture??

I'm sitting down listening to one words out of two not really bothering with the rest....
Though I can't help but notice when I hear the word "journalist"...
How can someone want to be one of those fucking cunts? My nails actually scratch the table and I can see he's not really getting why...

A while after the question is finally asked...
"Why do I hate them?" I say and look at him like he wouldn't know that 2 + 2 equals 4...
"Oh well, appart from the fact that they can't get over the fact that not everyone can be 2m10 tall like this swedish midget" I say pointing to Stef "And that make up is supposed to be for woman, I guess they're me best friends" I say showing off my best ironical smile.
"It's not my fault that I have the guts to be different;.. to be simply myself" I say grining.

We talk a bit much and I can't help but be a bit of a bitch.;.
"You know, in life there are people that succeed and realise their dreams and people that get stuck in some shitty job..." I say being a bit the "I succeeded not you" type of guy.
"I must say i'm happy to be in the first category" Because let's be honest, even if we're still a new band, i'm pretty sure that in a few years, we'll have millions of fans...

"They can't possibly picking on you because you're small. After all Stefan here and myself are far too tall if you take in consideration that the normal size for a male person is around 180cm, so we're above it and you're beneath it, it's not a big deal" I really don't understand him.
"Brian is a bite sensitive about his height" Stefan whispers in my ear, as if I hadn't noticed it on my own. I wonder what will happen if I call him a midget? I can actually imagine him getting as red as a tomato and exploding with anger.
"As for the makeup" I try to continue "It's not weird, but it's just not common to see a guy wearing makeup without assuming he's a fag"
It's true. How many straight men wear makeup? I surely haven't met any...

I’m trying to actually drop the subject and start talking to Steve a little.
“So what do you do in the band?” I ask him and while I’m listening to his answer I peak over what Brian’s doing. He doesn’t seem calmer than a minute ago, actually he seems to be getting a little more pissed of.
“Oh, oh” Stefan mumbles the second Brian opens his mouth, interrupting Steve.
That comment of his about people having a shitty job, is actually pretty mean. Is he implying that I have a shitty job? Well, technically that can’t be true since I don’t have a job, but that’s not the point.

“Oh my God, get over yourself. I think I understand why they actually pick on you… What’s better than a sucker for attention drama queen wearing tons of makeup probably to hide acne or something?” I don’t usually get mad, but now I am mad.
“You should probably calm down” Stefan touches my arm and I just quickly pull it away.
“I understand you might be frustrated, sexually confused, a woman trapped in a man’s body and stuff like that. Actually I don’t care… right now you’re just a big mouthed midget” I get up from the table
“Steve, Stefan, good bye” I start leaving and then turn around “Brian, by the way, you can pay my coffee since you kind of ruined it, after all you can afford it, you’re famous, right?”

When I get to the corner of the street I stop to take a deep breath. I hate it when people tell me I haven’t succeeded in my life. Hell they don’t know half of the stuff that’s been going on, and they just assume they’re better than me. Strangely, I found it kind of hot, arguing with that guy.
“Jamie waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!” I hear Stefan yelling behind me. How stupid can he be? I’m not walking anymore, I’m already in a waiting position. When he gets to me he starts apologizing for his friend, and then starts begging me to come to their gig. He’s looking at me with puppy dog eyes and I just sigh
“if it can make you happy”
“OH thank you thank you thank you!!!!” he wraps his arms around my neck like a little girl and hugs me.
“I’ll see you tomorrow night then!!” he pecks my cheek and turns around, moving his ass as if he was wearing high heels, but it looks more that he just stuck a carrot between his butcheeks and has trouble walking.

I don't really listen to him... I mean why should I listen to one of Them anyway... He will probably be picking up on me soon so to be honest, I've had it already so i'm not in the mood...
I just reply when the questions aren't that bad... like I just tell him i'm the singer... which doesn't seem to surprise him. I guess my look tells it already... The frontman that loves to be the center of attention or whatever his fucked up journalist mind might think about... that I don't care about anyway...

So I just end up laughing when he gives me the bad drama queen midget kind of talk... Usually it would piss me off... but right now, I can't even give a fuck.
"That poor pathetic drama queen midget as you say has a way more interesting life that your little pathetic journalist one..."
I say with a great ironical grin before adding...
"And I get laid more oftenb... and I'm probably way better in bed too..."
I say and just get up to go pay for my coffee and going out...

If Stef wants me to work, he knows where to find me... Right now, all I want is take care of myself...
Do a bit of shopping, or stay home and relax watch tv...
And certainly not lose my time with his old journalist friend from the fucked land I hated called Luxembourg...
From what I saw of him today, he really reminds me of that country...
Posh, pretencious, yet stupidly and patheticly boring.

After having spent this horrible morning, and arguing with that stuck up little midget, I decide to give the afternoon to myself and just go home and have a proper cup of coffee. Plus there are still so many things to be done: unpacking and looking for more job offers on the internet.
I try not to think about him while sipping my cup of coffee in front of my computer, but his image keeps coming in front of my eyes. Why does such an obnoxious person have to be so so pretty? Or maybe it was just my fault and I offended him in some strange way.
Jeeze I really need to get out of here and do something.
I know, shopping would do me good! A new pair of jeans or something wouldn’t be a horrible thing to buy would it? Plus I still have some extra money… so heck, let’s do this!

I enter a shop and I start taking a lot of useless things, that I probably won’t buy just to try them on. I think I’m worse than a woman when it comes to shopping.
“Hey, I saw this first” another person was holding on the exact same t-shirt that I was.
Oh God, you’ve got to be kidding me.
“I don’t mean to be a jerk, but I really saw this first. Are you following me or something? Wouldn’t be surprising if you turned out to be a stalker” I say with a grin as Brian looks just as upset as I do about bumping into me.
“Don’t you think that this is a little too big for you, or were you planning to wear it as a dress?” I giggle as it really is obvious that the t-shirt would be too long for him.
“I’m just kidding… you can try it on first” I take off my hand from the top and let him have it.

I start heading to the big shopping zone of the town...
Since right now I'm really not up to go shopping for clothes, I just decide to go to the make up counter...
So I spend almost an hour trying on my hands tons of products: eyeliners, shadows, lipsticks...
In the end I decide to buy black... everything in black (except the lipstick of course)
Black eyeliner, shadow, nail polish, mascara and some pretty reddish lipstick.

That is a first step. I must say that the good thing in looking like a girl is that many people don't get that i'm a guy, so they don't find it weird to see me at a make up counter... If only they knew;..
Then I just decide to go shopping for clothes before stopping to grab something to eat and probably head back home.
As I usually do I just go through the whole store (shoes section included) before taking a sort of basket and start getting things to try on.
Then same ritual, first the pants, then dresses if any is pretty and neutral enough for my taste. Then last the tops, accessorries and shoes.

That is when I see some of the best tshirts ever! I just get the "I love to make boys cry" in the girls section (couldn't let that one really) and then decide to try to search through the male section.
That is when my fall on That tshirt... blue.... with some sort of slot design with 666 in the center...
This is so me... But then i find one even better... "I'm evil"... So I straight take it yet I realise i'm not the only one on it...
When I just here the "I saw it first" I recognise the voice... after all I saw him not so long ago...
"There we meet again mr journalist" I say with a grin.
"I don't do stalking, i already have enough with my stalkers to turn into one myself.;."
At first I can see he's not wanting to let it go...
"They say it's better long than short" I say with a grin and finally he lets me have it.
I just say thanks and wink before heading to the changing room.

I really can’t believe this guy, being such a small little bitch, but I can’t help it and look after him while he’s going to the changing room. He has a kind of sweet and funny way of moving his ass while he’s walking… as if he knows someone must be watching and his only purpose is to make the other person lustful. I guess there is nothing wrong in thinking that even such an obnoxious person is attractive. Let’s just put it this way : physical is physical and liking someone emotionally or someone’s character is different. I have to admit that given the opportunity I would probably fuck his brains out.

I guess I did forget to mention this about myself, though I guess it is pretty obvious : I’m gay.
« Are you going to try these on, sir ? » a girl from the shop comes to ask me. I guess I must seem pretty odd with a lot of clothes in my arms, and just standing there, staring in the void, since by now Brian’s already in the dressing room.
« Yes, of course… sorry I was lost in my thoughts while waiting for the cabins to be free»
« There are a lot of free cabins, sir » she points out and I just nod feeling a little bit embarassed.

I just take my clothes and put them in the cabin right next to Brian’s, and without any notice I just open a little bit the curtain and put my head inside his cabin.
« So how’s that top lo…. » i don’t actually finish my phrase because I just burst into small giggles as I see that he is actually wearing a dress
« Oh My God…. » Okay it looks really hot, plus his legs are shaved and looking really smooth, but I’m not going to tell him that, now am I ? « You’re a crossdresser ? Woaw… so there really are girls trapped in men’s bodies after all… »